I'm scheduled to leave in 5 days.
However, I've decided to stay longer. This is a tough choice, I really miss Margit and sweet Gracie, my own bed, my good friends, the bitter cold... well maybe not so much the cold.
A few nights ago I had 3 vivid dreams that were related with the message "pay attention, you are missing something". I'm not usually a big dream interpretation guy -- I'm lucky if I can remember any of them, let alone 3 from the same night. So, that alone was intriguing. When I woke up, all 3 dreams came flooding to my consciousness along with the thought: I need to stay longer. So I've spent the last few days seriously considering it. Talked to Margit, talked to my support group back home (including my MN TCM doctor) and talked with a few patients here.
Today my Doctor returned from Spring Festival / New Year's vacation. She was concerned with some regression of the progress we had been making before she left. I've had some difficulty swallowing, some issues with dry mouth, more fasciculations and even some cramping. Also, a grip test of my right hand showed a 10% decrease in strength, after seeing an 18% increase just a few weeks ago. All of these symptoms have been well under control for the last month -- but I've slipped a bit.
This is not uncommon, there tends to be a 3 steps forward, 2 steps back effect that can happen with concentrated treatments. As the body adjusts, much like eyes in a newly lit room, things normalize.
My Doctor was concerned that I would be leaving in under a week, so we started to talk about how much longer she thought I should stay. 4-6 weeks longer seems to be the consensus. This isn't a huge surprise. Before I came I was told to plan on 3 months. Now it looks like that will be the duration.
I could leave now, most of the symptoms are back in check. But given the dreams, the Doctor's advice and my desire to catch as much traction as possible on these treatments -- I've decided to stay.
I had the tough conversation with Grace this morning. She was very sad and it was a difficult time. But she is strong and brave and she knows her daddy loves and misses her dearly.
I've restored the donate button to the blog. Please do not feel obligated, but if you are called -- financial support is welcome. Your prayers and sweetness to my wife and daughter are also much appreciated.
With much love and gratitude,